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The Nights We Spent Alone

by Joshua Baez

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1.
Let the rain fall down in the night Let the water pour from the clouds in the pale moonlight Let it wash away The hearts that we’d once known when we were young Your heart I’d once known That you kept with mine until you were gone When you walked away And what you left behind was a heart that was no longer mine Try and close your eyes — go to sleep I know the dark is hard, just stop staring into your ceiling Trying to kill the time Waiting for the light Looking for a sign Hidden in the walls when it was never there at all
2.
December Sun 05:24
You said That you’d be right here waiting But I know That you were only escaping To go Without me expecting Leaving Before it was ending You said That these were just patterns Of silence A cycle spiraling downwards Only To keep pushing us backwards If we Had kept our ropes tethered I know I have stumbled and swaggered But now I I am falling down faster Fraying The delicate sutures Tearing What held us together I wish That I could remember What I What I could have done better To save this But now it doesn’t matter When this sun Is not the same as December’s Oh you said That you’d be right here waiting for me For me Oh you said That you’d be right here waiting for me For me
3.
Go back Go back to the time from before I left When your heart was not broken And breathe in Breathe through your lungs to clear your head And wipe those tears That fall like rain onto your chest And I’ll touch your cheek The way that I did when you first met me Before we changed And before the wind took me away Past tense, Thinking of all that was said that day I can hear your heart beat from another place But I wish I wish that I knew why it went that way When I lifted my eyes, And I could’ve sworn that I saw your face And when I heard your voice I knew that I made the poorer choice On this sea I’ve crossed As the ice grew thinner before it was lost And this winter’s passed — The spring is on its heels again And I thought you changed But it was me who took our spark away And I’ve been searching for awhile Looking for you, hoping that you would somehow hear me And I understand that sometimes love’s not for the best But I wish I stayed Before the wind took you away
4.
Oh, the loneliness you’ve sown That makes your heart grow old And turns you into someone else who you don’t know But you’ve still so much time So please, don’t waste your life Shutters closed as you let the days just pass you by Oh, when you look at yourself You only see what your eyes allow But there’s so much more — there’s beauty underneath the pain you’ve felt And I know that it’s hard When you let down your guard But we can wash our fragile hands of all our scars Just keep your head held high There are bluer skies If you just give your heart some time Oh, there are things I can’t recall Why I let you run at all When I had known that you had thought that this was all your fault And I should have stopped you there I acted like I didn’t care When you were all alone, but there are times we all feel scared Just keep your head held high There are bluer skies If you just give your heart some time So just be still and breathe Take all the time you need To close your eyes and get some sleep Oh, just get some sleep
5.
I thought that this was it That we had reached the ending factors But I guess that I was wrong Blindly reaching in the dark And though I had stumbled on What I had thought was closure There seemed to be more in place Than what I had once thought And I did not believe That all of this had happened And it felt just like a dream One where I would soon awake And I walked down the hall Expecting you to greet me But you were gone, and the morning light Had come to take your place And I cannot stand that I won't be yours again And it cuts me like a knife pushed through my chest And I cannot say that I had never loved you anyway When I know that that is wrong, and I know we tried our best I thought this was the end And a place we could start over But I guess that I am not Quite ready to begin I tried asking you to stay If there was something we could recover But you said that this road you're on Is a choice you've already made And I cannot stand that I won't be yours again And it cuts me like a knife pushed through my chest And I cannot say that I had never loved you anyway When I know that that is wrong, and I know we tried our best But despite it all I truly hope you're happy With the road you're on and with the choices that you've made And I only wish that you find the pieces that you've missed And I'll say goodbye as the dream begins to fade Just as I will fade Just as you will fade
6.
I put my head into your hands again When I heard you say that this was the end And all of these things that I took for granted Now that they're gone I know what I miss Your kiss, the warmth of your skin And your breath, whispering words in my head Are no longer here and are gone now instead They're the pieces I've lost and the ones I want back I sat alone, waiting right by the phone Hoping you'd call to unstitch what you’d sown And I understand the reasons why you had left But I fear what I've lost is more than I have Your kiss, the warmth of your skin And your breath, whispering words in my head Are no longer here and are gone now instead They're the pieces I've lost and the ones I want back Your kiss, the warmth of your skin And your breath, whispering words in my head Are no longer here and are gone now instead They're pieces I've lost and the ones I want back Your kiss, the warmth of your skin And your breath, quiet on the nape of my neck I miss your laugh and your eyes and your heart on my chest And I know that you're gone, but I wish you'd come back Your kiss, the warmth of your skin And your breath, I can hear the words that you said And though we may change, I will never forget All the love that you gave that I could never give back
7.
These days that hang on a string Will fall before we turn our heads to see Washed away like the stones upon the beach The silent calls for the cadence of the spring Of the coming spring Do you recall when we drove to see the coast? To see the waves as they crashed against the shore We stood beneath a slowly setting sun Until the night came like a blanket over us So turn out the lights and come back to bed We don’t need to wake up just yet Come here, come back to me Shake off the sleepless nights you’ve lost You know the dawn will come back for us Don’t be scared, don’t be afraid to fall Don’t be scared to fall So turn out the lights and come back to bed We don’t need to wake up just yet Come here, come back to me The morning has only just begun And soon you’ll feel the warmth of the sun On your skin embracing you in the light Soon we’ll become shadows dancing in the light
8.
Last night It felt like pieces disappeared from view Before my eyes In the darkness of a shrinking room These paper walls These echoes from within my mind that call to you Calling you back An empty frame Of a heart that knew not its own worth Before you came And you tore apart its rusted cage And gave me yours And you stitched the scars that still remained Now the scars are gone Just as you had gone But I have traced the lines of the spindle and the thread Fallen from my eyes, unraveling with the words we said Fractured and frayed, fibers spiraling towards the end Towards the end But I have traced the lines of the spindle and the thread Sown and intertwined between the sheets of severed beds Fractured and frayed, fibers spiraling towards the end Towards the end
9.
Shadows 04:41
When you open your eyes To see the one that you loved But you don’t recognize the face So you go back to sleep Hoping it’s just a dream But you can’t see the dream that you made Photographs left To age with regret For the one that you lost the spark A sun sinking back To the deep ocean depths To bring the shadows that come in the dark But you hide from the shadows that come In the night when you are alone A shade of someone you thought you used to know But we’re no longer the same Oh, no, no But you hide from the shadows that come In the night when you are alone A shade of someone you used to know But we’re not the same as we were before We’ve changed with the passing of time And these days have turned to years in my eyes All in vain, I wish that I could still fight For your love and for your heart that was mine But you’re no longer mine
10.
Your breath is a ghost I can feel on my neck Warm as my heart beats into your chest Quietly still, I kiss you again And you touch my cheek, the last time you did But we fell asleep, Just for a second And you awoke smiling at me in the darkness A silhouette frame, a fade into silence We closed our eyes, and I knew what had started But will you come back and find me? Please just know Please know that I’m sorry Your breath is a ghost I can hear when I’m sleeping I hear your voice echo out to me Like an ocean of noise whose waves are unending I no longer know where we were at the beginning But will you come back and find me? Please just know Please know that I’m sorry For all these things that I’ve done without thinking And for blindly breaking your heart and leaving But now you are the ghost haunting my head I know that you’re gone, but I wish you hadn’t left Before I could tell you, before I could save it But now it’s too late when it’s already ended
11.
Blue Skies 07:35
Sometimes it’s alright to be alone We all feel the weight that’s hanging on our shoulders But don’t go thinking you are the only one You know we are here to help you as your brothers And we’ll be here to hold your hand Until you can finally stand again On your own, and you will be alright You will be alright I know that the nights are long When you’re awake waiting for the sun to rise But don’t go thinking of the time that you have lost But just try to close your eyes And sleep until the morning comes And you’ll awake with another chance to find someone To hold you in the storm before the sun rises with the dawn You said that it would be alright You said that we would have more time You said that you’d be by my side You said that your heart was mine Everything will be alright Please just wait for bluer skies to come and find you And soon you’ll find in all the dark that there’s a light To guide you home and you will wake up feeling new So don’t be scared of the dark And let the rain that’s falling down renew your heart And wash away our fears and all our scars Embrace the sun
12.
Come back You know I wish that you would come back With all the days and all the nights that passed In the time you were away Long ago When things were easier so long ago When all the pieces seemed to fall so slow So slowly into place The sun would always rise to drive away the rain But you ran away Without a word, and you just ran away When skies began to turn a shade of grey And the sunlight disappeared And I know it’s hard When things begin to break and fall apart But don’t go tearing out your fragile heart It’s alright to be afraid I know that it seems dark, but soon the light will guide your way Come back You know I wish that you would come back The nights we spent alone have come and passed And I hope that you’re okay I just hope that you’re okay

about

The third full-length record from Seattle musician, Joshua Baez. An album which captures the essence and honesty of love, loss, and renewal.

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"This album is actually good, and I'm not just saying that because you're my friend." -Hailey Arnold, friend and rad person.

"If Ben Gibbard were Asian, this would be it." -Cara Kovarik, wears cute dresses.

credits

released October 20, 2015

All music and lyrics by Joshua Baez
Produced by Joshua Baez

Recorded and mixed by Joshua Baez
Mastered by Robert Domos

Album artwork by Elizabeth Faragher
Album layout and design by Joshua Baez

(c) 2015 Joshua Baez

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Joshua Baez Seattle, Washington

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