The Nights We Spent Alone

by Joshua Baez

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about

The third full-length record from Seattle musician, Joshua Baez. An album which captures the essence and honesty of love, loss, and renewal.

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"This album is actually good, and I'm not just saying that because you're my friend." -Hailey Arnold, friend and rad person.

"If Ben Gibbard were Asian, this would be it." -Cara Kovarik, wears cute dresses.

credits

released October 20, 2015

All music and lyrics by Joshua Baez
Produced by Joshua Baez

Recorded and mixed by Joshua Baez
Mastered by Robert Domos

Album artwork by Elizabeth Faragher
Album layout and design by Joshua Baez

(c) 2015 Joshua Baez

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Joshua Baez Seattle, Washington

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Track Name: The Dark is Hard
Let the rain fall down in the night
Let the water pour from the clouds in the pale moonlight
Let it wash away

The hearts that we’d once known when we were young
Your heart I’d once known
That you kept with mine until you were gone
When you walked away

And what you left behind was a heart that was no longer mine

Try and close your eyes — go to sleep
I know the dark is hard, just stop staring into your ceiling
Trying to kill the time
Waiting for the light
Looking for a sign

Hidden in the walls when it was never there at all
Track Name: December Sun
You said
That you’d be right here waiting
But I know
That you were only escaping
To go
Without me expecting
Leaving
Before it was ending

You said
That these were just patterns
Of silence
A cycle spiraling downwards
Only
To keep pushing us backwards
If we
Had kept our ropes tethered

I know
I have stumbled and swaggered
But now I
I am falling down faster
Fraying
The delicate sutures
Tearing
What held us together

I wish
That I could remember
What I
What I could have done better
To save this
But now it doesn’t matter
When this sun
Is not the same as December’s

Oh you said
That you’d be right here waiting for me
For me
Oh you said
That you’d be right here waiting for me
For me
Track Name: Before the Wind Took You Away
Go back
Go back to the time from before I left
When your heart was not broken
And breathe in
Breathe through your lungs to clear your head
And wipe those tears
That fall like rain onto your chest

And I’ll touch your cheek
The way that I did when you first met me
Before we changed
And before the wind took me away

Past tense,
Thinking of all that was said that day
I can hear your heart beat from another place
But I wish
I wish that I knew why it went that way
When I lifted my eyes,
And I could’ve sworn that I saw your face

And when I heard your voice
I knew that I made the poorer choice
On this sea I’ve crossed
As the ice grew thinner before it was lost
And this winter’s passed —
The spring is on its heels again
And I thought you changed
But it was me who took our spark away

And I’ve been searching for awhile
Looking for you, hoping that you would somehow hear me
And I understand that sometimes love’s not for the best
But I wish I stayed
Before the wind took you away
Track Name: The Loneliness You've Sown
Oh, the loneliness you’ve sown
That makes your heart grow old
And turns you into someone else who you don’t know
But you’ve still so much time
So please, don’t waste your life
Shutters closed as you let the days just pass you by

Oh, when you look at yourself
You only see what your eyes allow
But there’s so much more — there’s beauty underneath the pain you’ve felt
And I know that it’s hard
When you let down your guard
But we can wash our fragile hands of all our scars

Just keep your head held high
There are bluer skies
If you just give your heart some time

Oh, there are things I can’t recall
Why I let you run at all
When I had known that you had thought that this was all your fault
And I should have stopped you there
I acted like I didn’t care
When you were all alone, but there are times we all feel scared

Just keep your head held high
There are bluer skies
If you just give your heart some time
So just be still and breathe
Take all the time you need
To close your eyes and get some sleep
Oh, just get some sleep
Track Name: Morning Light (Epilogue)
I thought that this was it
That we had reached the ending factors
But I guess that I was wrong
Blindly reaching in the dark
And though I had stumbled on
What I had thought was closure
There seemed to be more in place
Than what I had once thought

And I did not believe
That all of this had happened
And it felt just like a dream
One where I would soon awake
And I walked down the hall
Expecting you to greet me
But you were gone, and the morning light
Had come to take your place

And I cannot stand that I won't be yours again
And it cuts me like a knife pushed through my chest
And I cannot say that I had never loved you anyway
When I know that that is wrong, and I know we tried our best

I thought this was the end
And a place we could start over
But I guess that I am not
Quite ready to begin
I tried asking you to stay
If there was something we could recover
But you said that this road you're on
Is a choice you've already made

And I cannot stand that I won't be yours again
And it cuts me like a knife pushed through my chest
And I cannot say that I had never loved you anyway
When I know that that is wrong, and I know we tried our best

But despite it all I truly hope you're happy
With the road you're on and with the choices that you've made
And I only wish that you find the pieces that you've missed
And I'll say goodbye as the dream begins to fade

Just as I will fade
Just as you will fade
Track Name: My Head in Your Hands
I put my head into your hands again
When I heard you say that this was the end
And all of these things that I took for granted
Now that they're gone I know what I miss

Your kiss, the warmth of your skin
And your breath, whispering words in my head
Are no longer here and are gone now instead
They're the pieces I've lost and the ones I want back

I sat alone, waiting right by the phone
Hoping you'd call to unstitch what you’d sown
And I understand the reasons why you had left
But I fear what I've lost is more than I have

Your kiss, the warmth of your skin
And your breath, whispering words in my head
Are no longer here and are gone now instead
They're the pieces I've lost and the ones I want back

Your kiss, the warmth of your skin
And your breath, whispering words in my head
Are no longer here and are gone now instead
They're pieces I've lost and the ones I want back

Your kiss, the warmth of your skin
And your breath, quiet on the nape of my neck
I miss your laugh and your eyes and your heart on my chest
And I know that you're gone, but I wish you'd come back

Your kiss, the warmth of your skin
And your breath, I can hear the words that you said
And though we may change, I will never forget
All the love that you gave that I could never give back
Track Name: Turn Out the Lights
These days that hang on a string
Will fall before we turn our heads to see
Washed away like the stones upon the beach
The silent calls for the cadence of the spring
Of the coming spring

Do you recall when we drove to see the coast?
To see the waves as they crashed against the shore
We stood beneath a slowly setting sun
Until the night came like a blanket over us

So turn out the lights and come back to bed
We don’t need to wake up just yet
Come here, come back to me
Shake off the sleepless nights you’ve lost
You know the dawn will come back for us
Don’t be scared, don’t be afraid to fall
Don’t be scared to fall

So turn out the lights and come back to bed
We don’t need to wake up just yet
Come here, come back to me
The morning has only just begun
And soon you’ll feel the warmth of the sun
On your skin embracing you in the light
Soon we’ll become shadows dancing in the light
Track Name: The Spindle and the Thread
Last night
It felt like pieces disappeared from view
Before my eyes
In the darkness of a shrinking room
These paper walls
These echoes from within my mind that call to you
Calling you back

An empty frame
Of a heart that knew not its own worth
Before you came
And you tore apart its rusted cage
And gave me yours
And you stitched the scars that still remained
Now the scars are gone
Just as you had gone

But I have traced the lines of the spindle and the thread
Fallen from my eyes, unraveling with the words we said
Fractured and frayed, fibers spiraling towards the end
Towards the end

But I have traced the lines of the spindle and the thread
Sown and intertwined between the sheets of severed beds
Fractured and frayed, fibers spiraling towards the end
Towards the end
Track Name: Shadows
When you open your eyes
To see the one that you loved
But you don’t recognize the face
So you go back to sleep
Hoping it’s just a dream
But you can’t see the dream that you made

Photographs left
To age with regret
For the one that you lost the spark
A sun sinking back
To the deep ocean depths
To bring the shadows that come in the dark

But you hide from the shadows that come
In the night when you are alone
A shade of someone you thought you used to know
But we’re no longer the same
Oh, no, no

But you hide from the shadows that come
In the night when you are alone
A shade of someone you used to know
But we’re not the same as we were before

We’ve changed with the passing of time
And these days have turned to years in my eyes
All in vain, I wish that I could still fight
For your love and for your heart that was mine
But you’re no longer mine
Track Name: Your Breath is a Ghost
Your breath is a ghost I can feel on my neck
Warm as my heart beats into your chest
Quietly still, I kiss you again
And you touch my cheek, the last time you did

But we fell asleep, Just for a second
And you awoke smiling at me in the darkness
A silhouette frame, a fade into silence
We closed our eyes, and I knew what had started

But will you come back and find me?
Please just know
Please know that I’m sorry

Your breath is a ghost I can hear when I’m sleeping
I hear your voice echo out to me
Like an ocean of noise whose waves are unending
I no longer know where we were at the beginning

But will you come back and find me?
Please just know
Please know that I’m sorry
For all these things that I’ve done without thinking
And for blindly breaking your heart and leaving

But now you are the ghost haunting my head
I know that you’re gone, but I wish you hadn’t left
Before I could tell you, before I could save it
But now it’s too late when it’s already ended
Track Name: Blue Skies
Sometimes it’s alright to be alone
We all feel the weight that’s hanging on our shoulders
But don’t go thinking you are the only one
You know we are here to help you as your brothers
And we’ll be here to hold your hand
Until you can finally stand again
On your own, and you will be alright
You will be alright

I know that the nights are long
When you’re awake waiting for the sun to rise
But don’t go thinking of the time that you have lost
But just try to close your eyes
And sleep until the morning comes
And you’ll awake with another chance to find someone
To hold you in the storm before the sun rises with the dawn

You said that it would be alright
You said that we would have more time
You said that you’d be by my side
You said that your heart was mine

Everything will be alright
Please just wait for bluer skies to come and find you
And soon you’ll find in all the dark that there’s a light
To guide you home and you will wake up feeling new
So don’t be scared of the dark
And let the rain that’s falling down renew your heart
And wash away our fears and all our scars
Embrace the sun
Track Name: Come Back (The Nights We Spent Alone)
Come back
You know I wish that you would come back
With all the days and all the nights that passed
In the time you were away

Long ago
When things were easier so long ago
When all the pieces seemed to fall so slow
So slowly into place

The sun would always rise to drive away the rain

But you ran away
Without a word, and you just ran away
When skies began to turn a shade of grey
And the sunlight disappeared

And I know it’s hard
When things begin to break and fall apart
But don’t go tearing out your fragile heart
It’s alright to be afraid

I know that it seems dark, but soon the light will guide your way

Come back
You know I wish that you would come back
The nights we spent alone have come and passed
And I hope that you’re okay
I just hope that you’re okay